I was fortunate to have parents who covered most of my expenses through college. But during my college years, I wanted to start being independent. So, I took a part-time job at a fabric retail store and sold items on eBay to make extra cash and avoid being broke all the time.

At the time, eBay was booming, and my side hustle was thriving. By 2004, I had saved about $15,000—enough to buy my first car, a 2002 Volkswagen Jetta. I sold the Jeep my parents had given me and felt accomplished.

My parents were proud to see me hustling and handling my own finances. But my mom wasn’t thrilled about my decision to spend all that money on a car when the Jeep was perfectly fine. She wanted me to save it for something that would grow in value, like a house down payment or another valuable asset.

But my broke 20-something mentality didn’t want to hear it. I was more focused on flexing in a new ride, even though I knew its value would drop every single day.

Reality hit hard after college when I asked my then-fiancée to move in with me. That’s when I realized I had made a mistake. I didn’t have enough money to rent an apartment, and my only option was to stay with my parents while I saved.

That was my wake-up call. I had no choice then but to step up and be responsible with my money.

Now, 20 years later, here are five lessons I’ve learned:

Less Is More

At the end of the day, most material things are just temporary desires. Only you can put value toward Everything is temporary—only you decide what holds value. There were things I once thought I couldn’t live without, but in hindsight, they were unnecessary.

Looking back, I didn’t need all the modifications I made to my Jetta:

• $600 stereo system
• $800 rims with low-profile tires (stolen a year later)
• $1000 repaint
• $400 sport bumper and side skirts (still sitting in my mom’s garage, never installed)

At the time, these purchases felt important. Now, you’d have to pay me to waste money on things like that. It was one of those “could’ve” moments; I could’ve just kept my Jeep and invested that money instead.

Today, if it weren’t for the gym and my kids’ activities, I wouldn’t even need a car. On office days, I could take an Uber for a fraction of what I spend on car ownership. No maintenance, no insurance payments.

Save your money and stop going broke on things that don’t serve you.

Be Patient and Stay Financially Disciplined

Ever since I made the decision to strengthen my finances, I have realized that discipline has a way of humbling you fast. To those around you, it may seem like you’re missing out, but in reality, you’re at your best.

Beware of those who say, “Why wait when you can have it now? Life doesn’t wait for anyone.” Sure, there’s some truth to that, but ask yourself—at what cost, especially when there’s no real need?

Budgeting doesn’t mean depriving yourself of the things you enjoy; it means being intentional with your spending. Embracing minimalism can help you focus on what truly adds value to your life.

I’ve learned that if I can be patient with the things I want, I can apply that same discipline to the things I need. The difference? One costs money; the other builds lasting value.

Because of this mindset, I spent four years paying off a significant portion of my debt, rebuilding my credit, and purchasing a property. Every sacrifice was worth it.

So, if you have big goals, remember rushing won’t get you anywhere. Write down your plan, stay patient, and start taking small, consistent steps toward it.

Budgeting Is Essential

Navigating life without a budget will keep you financially stuck. In 2024, research showed that 89% of people said budgeting helped them get out of debt. I had to learn this the hard way. A solid budget isn’t about restriction; it’s about control.

When budgeting, it’s essential to set aside some pocket money to satisfy occasional cravings. Otherwise, you may find yourself slipping back into old spending habits.

So, after paying yourself first by consistently investing a portion of your income and saving for unexpected expenses, only then can you set an amount as pocket money.

Word of advice: Stick to the limit and resist the urge to increase it. If you have any leftover from the previous budget, simply roll it over.

Only after securing your savings and pocket money should you move on to paying your remaining bills. A well-structured budget gives you financial freedom without guilt or regret.

Debt Can Be a Trap

I used to firmly believe in avoiding debt after everything I had been through. But over time, I realized that moving forward often requires it. The key is understanding the difference between good and bad debt.

If debt helps you build long-term value, like investing in property, education, or a business, consider it an investment. But if it only drains your finances without a return, you’re just digging yourself deeper into a hole for future needs.

Here are some strategies I applied to pay over forty-two thousand dollars:

• Know how much you owe.
• Pay more than the minimum.
• Leave your credit cards behind; if you still feel the urge to use them, cut them.
• Sell things you haven’t used for the past six months.
• Stay consistent and celebrate small wins.

Debt can either be a stepping stone or a trap; it all depends on how you manage it. That’s why I strongly recommend living simply and staying within your means.

There’s growth in the struggle

One of the best ways to discover your true potential is by facing the challenges of fulfilling a need.

Had I listened to my parents and mentors, my financial life might have turned out differently—who knows? But I believe everything happens for a reason. Nothing is worth rushing. I had to learn this the hard way, which is why I no longer try to beat time.

This lesson applies to every aspect of life: relationships, friendships, personal projects, and more. The moment you start working toward something, it’s already yours. Your destiny is set, but you must put in the work to claim it.

Without the struggles, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. And for that, I’m grateful.